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How Can You Help a Widow Who Faces Empty Chairs?

Jeannie Waters16 Comments on How Can You Help a Widow Who Faces Empty Chairs?

 

Even when a widow accepts invitations to join family and friends at their table, she faces empty chairs at her table and elsewhere. The Bible teaches us to care for widows. In addition to visits, invitations, and offers to assist with various tasks, I want to share another way we can help.

In Marilyn Nutter’s BRAND NEW book, Hope for Widows, she provides comfort, encouragement, journal prompts, and practical suggestions for her fellow widows. She shares her grief with candor and tells readers how God’s faithfulness buoys her on challenging days. What a wonderful gift or recommendation to share with widowed friends or family members.

A New Year’s Gift for You

Today I welcome my dear friend and author Marilyn Nutter who shares a sample devotion from her recently-released book, Hope for Widows: Reflections on Mourning, Living, and Change, published by Our Daily Bread Publishing. After you read the devotion, meet Marilyn in the bio below and find a link for her book.

Sample Devotion:

Dinner Invitation and an Empty Chair

All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you.

PSALM 38:9 NIV

Has it happened yet? You’re invited to dinner at a friend’s home and couples are seated around the table. You’re the odd number. Years later, I vividly remember my first experience as if it were yesterday. As if being solo in a couples world isn’t bad enough, being seated at a table next to an empty chair is downright painful. Why couldn’t someone sit next to me? I thought. I tried to ignore the empty chair, but how do you do that when you need to stretch to pass the vegetables around the table?

I ate a meal, though I can’t remember the menu. We talked, but I don’t recall the conversation. I do remember the empty chair. When I returned home, I sighed. “Glad that’s over,” I muttered, thinking about the empty chair. As I got ready for bed, I evaluated the experience. My friends were loving and kind; it wasn’t being a single with couples that bothered me as much as being placed next to an empty chair. The emptiness was glaring—literally and figuratively.

Laying my head on my pillow, I was thankful I’d gotten through it, like so many other firsts on my grief path. The experience prepared me for the next time, because there were going to be many “next times.”

God’s grace met me then. It promises to meet me each time; and with each meeting, there will be less pain—even when I sit next to an empty chair.

Treasured Reflections: How was your first experience at a couples dinner or event? Did you see the treasures of experience and grace get you through?

Treasured Thoughts: Journal your thoughts about the part experiences play in your grief journey, especially how you’ve changed from first-time experiences to now. Do you see fewer stings of hurt and more moments of grace, growth, and patience? Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” It’s an ongoing process, not an overnight experience. How do you see that verse becoming real for you?

Taken from: Hope for Widows: Reflections on Mourning, Living, and Change © 2024 by Marilyn Nutter All rights reserved.

Published in association with Books & Such Literary Management, www.booksandsuch.com.

Requests for permission to quote from this book should be directed to: Permissions Department, Our Daily Bread Publishing, PO Box 3566, Grand Rapids, MI 49501, or contact us by email at permissionsdept@odb.org.

Here’s the Amazon link: https://tinyurl.com/2mu5becz .

About the Book

Hope for Widows: Reflections on Mourning, Living, and Change offers women connections in their grief, guiding them to see hope, grace, and comradery on an unfamiliar path. With personal reflections, questions, and expressions of gratitude, widows will join Marilyn Nutter in recognizing God’s faithful presence in details and unusual places. The 65 vignettes apply Scripture and relevant quotes to grief and mourning and look with transparency at how widowhood dramatically changes a woman’s life. The book not only ministers to widows, but offers insights to their friends and family showing the life changes and challenges a woman faces on a new path.

About the Author

Marilyn Nutter writes, not as a professional counselor or through research about grief, but as one who walks that unwelcomed, personal experience and has found God faithful in every step. In her journey, she continues to experience the grace of God-sent treasures in puzzling and new circumstances and desires to encourage others. She is a contributor to compilations, author of devotional books and co-author with April White of Destination Hope: A Travel Companion When Life Falls Apart. Visit marilynnutter.com  where you will find encouragement to weave hope and purpose in your life stories.

A Quote from Hope for Widows

I know I’ll never be over my loss, but I know I will continue to get through it and find life again, as will you.

–Marilyn Nutter, Author of Hope for Widows


I know I'll never be over my loss, but I know I will continue to get through it and find life again, as will you.
--Marilyn Nutter, Author of Hope for Widows
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A message from Leigh DeLozier, a mutual friend of mine and Marilyn’s:

Whether she’s your mom, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, friend, friend of a friend, or neighbor – almost everyone knows someone who is widowed. Show her you care by sharing “Hope for Widows: Reflections on Mourning, Living, and Change” by Marilyn Nutter.

–Lee DeLozier

Here’s the Amazon link: https://tinyurl.com/2mu5becz .

Your Turn

Share your thoughts on widowhood from a personal perspective or from helping friends. How do you think this book might help someone you know? How did the sample devotion help you? Marilyn will appreciate your responses.

7 Ways You Can Honor God and Serve Others During the Christmas Season

Jeannie Waters27 Comments on 7 Ways You Can Honor God and Serve Others During the Christmas Season

The news spread through our class at church. One couple’s son had passed. Bill, one of our teachers, and his wife were among the first to visit. The afternoon we arrived, Bill had returned, vacuumed the house, and polished the shoes family members would wear to the funeral the next day. He’d demonstrated ways to honor God and serve others—even in a busy season.

As he said good-bye, he noticed another need and turned to add water to a vase filled with white roses.

The grieving mom shook her head in amazement, grabbed my hands, and faced me with tear-filled eyes. “Bill vacuumed our floors and polished our shoes.”

Our Bible study class members and other friends filled the fridge and countertops with more food than the family could eat in a week. Food aromas wafted through the rooms of the house, representing love and concern for physical needs. Poinsettias from neighbors decorated the table where homemade cakes sat. Hugs and tears acknowledged our compassion.

Each gift and visit met a need.

But Bill was the only one who thought about doing the humble chores—vacuuming and polishing shoes—what I call floor-level chores. I thought about the way Jesus stooped down to wash the feet of His disciples. Afterwards, He taught them and teaches us an important lesson.

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.  If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.   John 13:14-17 ESV

How did Bill find ways to serve that the rest of us hadn’t even considered?

  • Maybe he was looking for ways to “love one another with brotherly affection” (Romans 12:10).
  • Perhaps Bill had read Philippians 2:4 that morning and wanted to put someone else’s needs before his own. He was delighted to minister to friends in their time of need instead of rushing home to decorate his family Christmas tree or relax in his recliner with a mug of coffee.
  • Maybe Bill’s love for Jesus and a spirit of humility created a desire to be more like Him.

Although Jesus was fully God, He ‘came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’              Mark 10:45

 As we celebrate the birth of Christ this year, how can we honor our Lord and serve others? Consider the following ideas:

  1. When you pray each morning, tell God you’re available to bring honor to Him and service to others. Then watch for needs that He prompts you to meet.
  2. Read an Advent devotion daily to help you focus on the reason we celebrate and pray to apply what you’ve read.
  3. Invite others to your table for fellowship and fun. Share a simple meal like bowls of chili (recipe included below) and salad, or invite someone to join you for hot chocolate and cookies.
  4. Include a verse of Scripture and an encouraging note on your Christmas cards to bring hope to recipients.
  5. Fill a Giving Jar or plate with cookies or candies. The jar I received last week included a tag which reads, “Enjoy, refill, and pass it along.”
  6. Ask about needs in your community and partner with neighbors, fellow church members, or friends to meet those needs.
  7. Ask God to lead you to “floor-level jobs.” Keep this one a secret between you and God.

Like Bill, we can consider the needs of others and love Jesus so much we seek to serve others as He did.

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. Philippians 2:5-7

In addition to attending services, we can serve others in Jesus’ name at Christmas time.

In addition to attending services, we can serve others in Jesus’ name at Christmas time. Share on X

We can delight in delaying our own plans when the Holy Spirit leads us to show God’s love in tangible ways—even floor-level ways.

Maybe a servant heart is the best gift we can give Jesus to celebrate the day He served us in the most profound way of all—when He relinquished His celestial home to lie in a lowly manger. Let’s bow before Him in praise and open our hearts to the simple floor-level needs of others—at Christmas time and beyond.

Your Turn

Please share examples of humble service to others. If every reader contributes, we’ll have a collective list to prompt our hearts to action.

 

Books Are Great Gifts

May I suggest my book, A Place at His Table: God’s Daily Gifts to Satisfy Your Heart, as a gift? Many people are buying copies for hostess gifts and Christmas presents. You can find it on Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, Bold Vision Books, and on other bookseller sites. Fun Table Tips are included with each of 40 devotions. They include recipes, party plans, and simple table decorations.

A gift for you: Karen’s Make & Share Chili

 

Brown 2 pounds of ground beef with one diced onion.

(Or substitute one pound of ground turkey or ground chicken.)

Add:

1 (15 oz.) can diced tomatoes

1 (15 oz.) can of tomato sauce

1 (15 oz.) can pinto beans (I prefer these to kidney beans.)

½ tsp. garlic powder

¼-½ tsp. chili powder

salt and pepper to taste

1-2 tablespoons mustard

¼ cup ketchup

1-1 ½ cups water

After the chili bubbles, simmer for 15-30 minutes.

(Adjust seasonings to suit your taste or substitute a pack of chili seasoning.)

Leftover chili:

Add heated leftover chili to a bed of lettuce for taco salad or serve it on a baked potato. Add grated cheese or dollops of sour cream or guacamole.

 

5 Ways to Enhance the Gratitude Capacity of Your Heart and Give Thanks

Jeannie Waters25 Comments on 5 Ways to Enhance the Gratitude Capacity of Your Heart and Give Thanks

 

My friend Karen planned a Friendsgiving celebration for the residents at the healthcare home where her mother lives. We decorated the tables with tall lanterns filled with tiny lights and red, orange, and yellow silk leaves. Then we added stuffed pumpkins and sprinkled candy at each place. During the celebration, the elderly ladies and gentlemen taught me an important lesson.

After participants had listened to a devotion about friendship and played games, they gathered around the tables to share some of their blessings. Their lists included life, family, friends, good memories, sunny days, chocolate cake, and many more.

When I heard wheelchair-bound nursing home residents express thanks for their blessings, I considered my heart’s gratitude capacity. If they can thank God for their blessings while facing adversity, surely I can, too. Then I wondered how Scripture can help us develop an attitude of gratitude when we experience trials or hear distressing news.

Gratitude fills my heart when I enjoy family gatherings, breath-taking mountain views, and vanilla lattes. But I confess, words of thanksgiving often sputter and stall when I face trials.

Recent trials include a stubborn printer with the nerve to die the night before a speaking engagement, even more stubborn plumbing that required a costly repair days before guests arrived, aggravating back pain, and far worse, a friend’s cancer diagnosis.

The grateful hearts of my new wheelchair-bound friends set a Christlike example for me.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV*

At the conclusion of the activities, we enjoyed ice cream sundaes. The sweet ladies at my table loved the choice of chocolate or caramel syrup and the addition of nuts and cherries. Laughter bubbled from the conversations as we ate.

Then Karen gave each resident a handmade bookmark decorated with fall pictures and a ribbon. She also gave them blank thank you cards and suggested they give the cards to a family member or a facility employee they appreciated.

Miss Maureen, a white-haired saint, grabbed Karen’s hand, pulled her closer, and gave Karen her thank you card. Whispered words brought tears to Karen’s eyes. “Thank you for taking time to bring joy to us. This was such fun. Please come back again.” My misty-eyed friend promised we’d return.

As the sweet residents wheeled from the room, some of them held our hands and told us how much they’d enjoyed the celebration. I suspect our blessings outweighed theirs.

With their kind words echoing in my heart, I pondered the biblical instruction to express thanks in all things. I long to develop an attitude of gratitude—even in challenging times—like I’d observed during the Friendsgiving celebration.

The Bible doesn’t tell us to feel thankful. Instead, it instructs us to give thanks.

Perhaps we should read verses about expressing gratitude daily and ask God to increase our capacity to give thanks—like my new friends modeled for me.

The Bible doesn’t tell us to feel thankful. Instead, it instructs us to give thanks. Share on X

5 Ways to Enhance the Gratitude Capacity of Your Heart and Give Thanks

1. With obedience to God

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:17

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the God of gods, for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords, for his steadfast love endures forever; to him who alone does great wonders, for his steadfast love endures forever.

Psalm 136:1-4

Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 5:20

2. With singing

I will give to the Lord the thanks due to his righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord, the Most High.

Psalm 7:17

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!

Psalm 100:1-2

3. With recognition of His love and peace

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Psalm 107:1

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Colossians 3:15

4. With prayer

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.

Colossians 4:2

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

5. With awareness of who God is and remembrance of His gifts

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Psalm 28:7

Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

Psalm 107:8-9

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

James 1:17

The echo of gratitude from my new friends’ words and the verses I found are filling my heart and my words with thanksgiving.

Your Turn

What’s one way to develop a heart of gratitude? How is giving thanks beneficial to our walk with Christ? I look forward to your comments.

*All verses are taken from the ESV.

Another story of gratitude

Click here Gratitude According to Aunt Tommie for a devotion from A Place at His Table: God’s Daily Gifts to Satisfy Your Heart. Marilyn Nutter shared it on her website. You’ll read how my Aunt Tommie shared 6-ounce bottles of Coca-Cola and wise advice about gratitude.

A Place at His Table includes 40 devotions with Table Tips–recipes, easy centerpiece ideas, and celebration suggestions. What a perfect hostess gift!  

   Available at Amazon & at other places where good books are sold.           

 

Banish the Morning Blues and Celebrate Each Day with the Psalmists

Jeannie Waters34 Comments on Banish the Morning Blues and Celebrate Each Day with the Psalmists

 

Local friends, please read the invitation at the conclusion of this post and RSVP. Thank you.

When you hear, “She got up on the wrong side of the bed,” you know someone displayed grouchy behavior. How can we start our days on the right side and banish the morning blues? Let’s start by celebrating each day with morning prayers from God’s Word.

Even if we don’t display grouchy behavior, life’s circumstances can cloud our attitude as soon as we wake up unless “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV) and focus on God.

Let’s celebrate each morning as a gift from Him—because it is. When we begin the day with our focus on our heavenly Father, the early minutes become golden opportunities to praise and worship Him and to seek His guidance for the day.

News reports, illness, and other difficult situations weigh on our minds, but sharing our burdens with the God of all comfort gives us peace. Reading the Bible reminds us of who He is—our holy, faithful, omnipotent Father who is filled with love and kindness.

News reports, illness, and other difficult situations weigh on our minds, but sharing our burdens with the God gives us peace. Share on X

Here’s a collection of some morning prayers from the Psalms. You could mark them in your Bible, type them into a phone app, or write them on cards. This practice will likely lead to reading and praying entire chapters in this marvelous book.

Morning Prayers

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. –Psalm 143:8

 

I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning. –Psalm 130:6a

 

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. –Psalm 90:14

 

 But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. –Psalm 59:16

 

 I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word. –Psalm 119:147

 

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. –Psalm 19:14

A morning promise:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. –Lamentations 3:22-23

Here’s another verse that helps us evaluate our thoughts and keep them sunny throughout the day. Paul’s message to the Philippians helps us focus our thoughts from one sunrise to the next.

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.   –Philippians 4:8

This evening verse will help us rest well and get up the next morning on the right side the next morning.

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. –Psalm 4:8

*All Scripture verses are taken from the NIV.

After you read the verses, share with us a favorite from the list or your favorite verse or chapter that helps you banish the blues and celebrate each day as a gift from God.

Local friends, you’re invited. You may buy books for yourself or for Christmas gifts or bring one you’ve already purchased if you want it signed. We’ll enjoy light refreshments and decorated tables. Plan to join the celebration and please RSVP to Jeannie@JeannieWaters.com. I hope to see you October 29!

Take Six Easy Steps to Change Your Closet and Examine Your Heart This Fall

Jeannie Waters26 Comments on Take Six Easy Steps to Change Your Closet and Examine Your Heart This Fall

Goosebumps covered my ten-year-old arms and legs as I skipped rocks on the river beside my grandparents’ cabin. How I wished for my gray corduroy pants on that breezy autumn day. Cooler weather reminds us of sweaters and flannel. An easy six-step plan for seasonal closet adjustments can lead us to examine our hearts this fall.

Each September I exchange the summer clothes in my closet for scarves, warm slacks, and turtlenecks. When I assess my fall wardrobe, the try-it-on-to-see-if-I-still-need-it mound grows on my bed. A glance in the mirror confirms my suspicion that some outfits have outlived their usefulness.

The goal is to keep only seasonally-appropriate, well-fitting clothes. The rule? Toss those articles you haven’t worn in two years. (Or if you’re feeling brave, one year.) Are you ready to tackle your closet? Come on, it’s not THAT hard, right? Well maybe, but not impossible.

6 Steps for Changing Your Closet This Fall

  1. Choose a date and write “Fall Closet Reno” on the calendar.
  2. Plan a reward for a season-ready, well-organized closet.
  3. Divide clothing into three piles: Keep, donate, not sure.
  4. Tackle the “not sure” pile. Ask, “Will I wear this soon? When? Where?” Mirrors are honest. Try on each item and take a whirl. If necessary, call an honest friend.
  5. Arrange outfits on your bed. List new pieces to purchase for added pizazz. A new scarf, a denim jacket, or a tailored white shirt might multiply possibilities.
  6. Celebrate with the reward you planned.

Like cool weather signals wardrobe adjustments, a new season can be a good time to examine our hearts. Are there habits or attitudes we should abandon like a moth-eaten sweater? Are there Christ-like characteristics we should practice or “put on?”

Like cool weather signals wardrobe adjustments, a new season is as good time to examine our hearts. Share on X

6 Steps for Examining Our Hearts This Fall

1. Plan for fall quiet times with God.

Before the hurry-scurry of holiday season arrives, ensure you have a daily time of prayer and Bible study—short or long—but daily. You might try to write in a journal or find a new devotional,  but keep the Bible as your main source.

2. Pull up your chair to God’s table.

A table for two. He waits for you and welcomes you. Take time to enjoy His presence. To worship and praise him. To express gratitude. To lift the needs of others. To ask questions and lay your needs before Him. To listen.

3. Put away un-Christlike thoughts and behaviors.

Examine your heart as you read the Bible. We can confess sin and count on God’s forgiveness and His strength to rake away negative thoughts and actions from our lives like dead leaves.

 But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

Colossians 3:8 ESV*

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 4:29

4. Put on Christlike qualities.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another . . . And above all these put on love . . .

Colossians 3:12-14

God’s Word teaches us to “put on” godly conduct. When I try to improve myself, success is short-lived.

The good news is when God does the work, we change from the heart outward. God promises to conform us to His image. When He changes us, these qualities dwell in our hearts and shine from our lives.

Prayer and Scripture will remind us of the work God is doing in our hearts. Perhaps it would help to imagine slipping on a new fall jacket labeled “kindness,” or “love” or “patience” before we start each day. When we read the gospels, we see how Jesus walked on earth. His example lights the way for us.

5. Ponder on His promises.

When the enemy tempts you to think negative thoughts, find a promise of God’s to cling to and pray. Thank you, Father, you’ll never leave me. Thank you, Father, you promise to meet my needs.

6. Plan for adequate rest, rich fellowship with others, and opportunities to serve in Jesus’ name.

Okay, it’s time to get into that closet and make bold decisions as you prepare for cooler weather. As you work, play praise music and worship the Lord. When you rest, try the six steps above and ask God to examine your heart. As a believer, you can thank Him for the warmth of His presence for every season.

* Scripture verses are taken from the ESV.

Your Turn

Please share a closet organization tip or a way you examine your heart for a new season. What helps you remember to “put on” Christlike behavior?

If you need a new fall devotional or if you want a Scripture-filled Christmas gift for friends, may I suggest my new devotional? A Place at His Table: God’s Daily Gifts to Satisfy Your Heart. Each devotion begins with a table story and leads to a Bible passage that illustrates one of God’s gifts. Table Tips include recipes, easy centerpiece ideas, and celebration plans.

https://amzn.to/3qTTt0k