The Sadie Attitude: Turn Self-Pity into Loving Others

We couldn’t find my seventy-five-year-old mother. I chatted with her each night after my dad died, but this time, calls to her home phone and cell phone went unanswered.

Due to vision problems, she’d told me, “I just don’t drive after dark anymore,” but it was after 9:00 PM. Her neighbor fretted when I called because Mama’s car was missing. Her best friend had not talked to her that evening. Therefore, my husband drove twenty-five miles to a neighboring county to check her calendar and phone messages before calling the sheriff’s department.

Shortly before he arrived, the neighbor called to tell us my mom was home. When I inquired about her whereabouts, Mama answered, “They needed someone at the church to help people coming in for directory pictures. I figured that was something I could do to help. I’m sorry I worried you.”

Something she could do to help. Yep, that sounded like my mother. When her health was failing, she’d sometimes say, “You know I had a little pity party today thinking about myself. Then I thought, ‘Sadie, God has blessed you, and there are lots of folks who have more troubles than you. You get yourself out to help someone else tomorrow.’”

And she would. That’s how she lived—looking for ways to encourage and help others. Instead of focusing on herself, she turned her gaze to the Lord and other people. She modeled for us a verse where Paul quoted an Old Testament command.

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

                                                                                                                                                                                      Galatians 5:14 ESV

Her conversation came to mind today while I was suffering from bronchitis and sinus infection which prompted whining that I’d miss fun family activities this weekend. When I tired of the bed and recliner, I walked around the house and enjoyed the window view of lovely flowering trees. God drew my attention to nearby houses and the people who live in them. Here’s what I realized:

  • One neighbor was recovering from surgery while her husband helped his father after a heart procedure at the hospital.
  • Two lonely widowers often walk by our house—one with a cane and one with a dog.
  • Another neighbor who is my age is disabled and lives alone.
  • In another direction, there’s a busy family with two children and two working parents.

And I was whining because I am too sick to join in family activities this weekend. I—the one in a warm home with medicine, a comfortable bed, a loving husband, and a sweet daughter-in-love who delivered delicious chicken soup and bread for lunch. I—the one who caught up on Bible reading and started a new novel while I was resting. I—the one who has a daughter and friends calling and checking on her. I—the one who has a Savior who loves her and cares for her. Yes, that girl was me.

It was time for the “Sadie attitude,” as my family calls it. I texted my next-door friend to see if she needed anything and prayed for other neighbors. I recalled prayer requests I’d read on Facebook and lifted those to the Lord. Neighbors include all we meet. As gratitude grew in my heart and love for others consumed my thoughts, I thanked God for leading me out of the pity party and to a celebration of gratitude and loving my neighbors. He forgives and I learn.

Heavenly Father, forgive me for complaining. I’m disappointed about missing weekend plans, but I am thankful for my blessings. I can’t do much while I’m sick, but remind me to love others by lifting them in prayer and encouraging them by deed as You guide me. In the name of Jesus, I pray and praise You. Amen.

 Would you share ways you extend the Lord’s love to those you know or ways they have extended love to you? We’ll all learn from your examples.

An Encouraging Word about Gratitude

Meet Haley Dumpe, my delightful friend and guest blogger. Haley is a young wife and mom whose countenance shines with the presence of Christ in spite of Multiple Sclerosis. I know you’ll find encouragement in her words. Please leave a comment and check out her website “Letting Go.”

http://haleylettinggo.blogspot.com

Haley Dumpe, Guest Blogger

Multiple Sclerosis is not who I am. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. I love teaching, learning, creating, encouraging, and spending time with precious friends and family members. Jesus is the very breath I take. He is my Savior, my strength and my song. Posted on my blog are my honest thoughts on how MS does not define me, but it did change my life forever. Life is so hard, but God is so good. I pray you’ll find encouragement for your heart in my post.

Confession: I struggle with jealousy.

My kids were home two days last week because of the snow and ice. I am tired. Don’t get me wrong–it has been really fun! I am so glad my kids were home because of snow days. We didn’t have much snow, but it was enough for them. They threw snowballs, built a mini snowman, and even practiced sledding down the hill. However, as I watched them from my wheel chair, I became really bitter. I looked past all the many blessings and just looked at everything I did not have and wanted. I tried to make a list of things I could be thankful for instead of wallowing in my pity (although I really wanted to wallow).

My Gratitude List

  1. I have a wheelchair that allows me to go outside and watch the kids play in the snow. 
  2. I have children who wanted me to come out with them and waited patiently until I got in my chair to play in the snow. 
  3. My children were healthy enough to run and play outside, and most of the time, they had a really good time with each other. 
  4. My husband is very hard-working and has a good job that provides us with a house that keeps us warm on a cold day. 
  5. Our house also has big doors for wheelchairs and ramps… it even has cabinets with drawers that pull out and are easily accessible! Our house really is amazing… talk about God‘s provision!  

Sometimes I get so tired of watching life from the wheelchair, and I want to stand up and do! I have so many things to be thankful for, but I can quickly look past that and focus on all the things that I want or think would make my life better.

Isn’t it easy to get focused on all the things we want instead of all the blessings that we DO have?

I play a game with my kids called “Count Your Blessings.” They roll their eyes (especially my 10-year-old), but begrudgingly they play it and end up in a better mood. Each person only has three seconds to name a blessing. I normally keep them going until I see smiles on their faces instead of grumpy looks and arguing that could ensue.

Guidance for Gratitude

In Philippians 4:8, God’s Word tells us “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” In Colossians 3:2, it says to “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.”

Whether we are with our spouse, our children, or coworkers, we choose the tone for our life. We choose our own attitude and our focus. Are we going to choose an attitude of gratitude or an attitude of grumbling and complaining? Who do we reflect to others? Do we reflect Jesus Christ or ourselves? My prayer for each of us is that as we start each day, we make a conscious decision to set our mind on things above and begin to look more like Christ as we reflect Him to others.

Won’t you share a comment? Haley would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading,

Jeannie

Bible verses are from ESV.